Life in the "Fast" Lane

Ok, maybe I'll back track a tiny bit.  I wrote this on February 28, 2012 in my journal, and I feel compelled to share it as my first post.  On this day I had to fast for a routine medical test. That small change in my routine brought awareness to how much food or rather the lack of food could affect my mood.  I was a bitch to say the least. I stepped back, realizing this wasn't really me, and dismissed my bad mood as just a side effect of the fasting. As I did that, a small shift happened inside of me. I started writing and here is what came out...

We are just vessels for the Spirit. Just vessels. Our wants, needs, fears, every human emotion is just the ego.  This is a hard concept to grasp because if I'm not my feelings, emotions, needs, then what am I??  Nothing?  Yes and No.  There is no "I" only "us" -- collective, total "us".  "Us" is everyone, everything, every energy, God. 


There is no reason to ever miss any person in your life because they are always with you.  Fully, completely, totally.


Then why do I want to hold someone, hug them, touch them?  That desire goes back to our root desire to touch as an infant.  We were all taught to feel love mainly through our physical senses.  If a baby doesn't see, touch, hear, smell her mama, then her mama is completely and totally gone to her. Disappeared.  As the baby grows, she begins to learn that even if her mama isn't in the room with her, then she is still in the world somewhere.  The next step, which we don't automatically understand and that some people never understand, is that our mama isn't just in the world somewhere, she is inside of us, all the time.


Root desires are VERY strong.  They were our first lessons, but we must get to the next step. We aren't our bodies at all.   Yes, we need to fulfill our bodies' basic needs.  Feed it, wash it. Give it warmth, shelter, sex.  Sex has many levels. Basic root fulfillment, soul and spirit levels as well.  The root aspect of it involves the physical touch of the act and the continuation of the species.  This is very strong.  This desire.  But this is not what satisfies a person sexually.  This physical plane satisfies only that root desire.  The deeper levels is what brings us wholeness, true soul fulfillment. This can be done without the physical touching.  Separate yourself from those root desires.  You have evolved to where those are just secondary to what can truly be experienced.


I know now why people fast.  To see and know the difference within themselves without physical nourishment. But you can fast anything important, not just food, and then see how you react. See what is you and what is the hunger.